Stanley: Over the course of this documentary I've had three affairs. If you find my body in a ditch, let me save the police some trouble: my wife did it.

Jim: Okay, big day today. Airing of the documentary. Who's excited?
[aside to camera:]
Meredith: I'd better come out of this smelling like a rose. I've been on my best behavior for nine years. If it wasn't for the cameras, I would've done some truly vulgar crap.

Creed: This airs tonight? Oh, my God. If my parents see this, I am toast.