Dwight K. Schrute Quote #1237
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Farm
Cameron: Is it dangerous to take the eggs in front of them?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, very. You really need to stand back because these are killer chickens.
Cameron: I was just asking you something I didn't know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Which is fine. And, you learned something. But, it was kind of a stupid question so you're gonna get made fun of a little bit.
Cameron: Are we gonna eat these today?
Dwight K. Schrute: If you want.
Cameron: Is that a guillotine?
Dwight K. Schrute: This? No. That'd be cool, though. It's for milking.
Cameron: That's a cow?
Dwight K. Schrute: Did you just ask me if this was a cow?
Cameron: What are you doing now?
Dwight K. Schrute: Come here. Come on. Grab a teat with each hand. Sit down. There you go. Squeeze from top to bottom. Really pull. Use some muscle. Draw the milk out. All right. Going all right?
Cameron: I don't know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, is the udder hot? Is the milk clumpy?
Cameron: I don't know any of that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, you suck at this. Give me those teats. Didn't your father teach you anything?
Cameron: I never met him.
The Office Quotes
‘The Farm’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Erin: Dwight, what a ridiculous, fancy clown you are.
Dwight K. Schrute: I am dressed according to the Schrute codes of mourning. My aunt Shirley has died.
Pam: Oh, Dwight. I'm so sorry. Were you guys close?
Dwight K. Schrute: I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other. I raised myself. She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: My actual mother was very cold and distant. I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.
Quote from Creed
Pam: We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes. He was awful to us. And, he still is. How much is a cupcake? $2.50? Is that the price of our dignity?
Creed: $3.75 a cupcake, actually. $3.67 if you buy a dozen.
[aside to camera:]
Creed: I never forget a number. Names? In one ear and out the other. Places? Nope. Faces? That's rich. But, numbers? I have a gift. I guess that's why I'm an accountant.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: We Schrutes don't need some Harvard doctor to tell us who's alive and who's dead. But, there was an unlucky streak of burying some heavy sleepers. And, when grave robbers discovered some scratch marks on the inside of some of the coffins, we decided to make sure that our dead were completely dead. Out of kindness.