Andy Quote #552
Quote from Andy in Couples Discount
Erin: I don't love you anymore.
Andy: What?
Erin: I still like you, but you were gone a really long time. And, you didn't really email me all that much. You retweeted me, a lot to be fair. But I don't love you.
Andy: Okay, I get it. You're unhappy. I've been gone a long time and we lost a little bit of juju. But, you and me, we have a future. There is a lot of love here.
Erin: I just said there isn't love.
Andy: On your side. But there's tons on my side. It's gushing. We're just out of sync right now. But that's just timing, it's timing. I mean, my parents lasted 38, 40 years. They were never happy at the same time.
Erin: I guess.
Andy: I mean, what do we have left? 35, maybe 40 years? If we're lucky. I mean, I have spent a lot of time in the sun.
Erin: You got really sunburned.
Andy: I'm gonna be a prune in like, 3 years.
Erin: Ugh.
Andy: I know you may not be feeling love for me right now but, if you fake it, I won't be able to tell the difference. So, I'll feel good. And then, eventually, maybe, you'll actually start to love me again.
Erin: You really think we can get that back?
Andy: Yes. [hugs Erin] Come on. Totally.
The Office Quotes
‘Couples Discount’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: God! I just don't know what we'd do. I mean, short of telling David Wallace that he was gone for three months.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I'd like to rat out Andy. Unfortunately, I have a bit of a boy-who-cried-wolf dynamic with David Wallace. Except, instead of a boy, I'm a man. And instead of a wolf, I cried genetically-engineered monster wolf.
Quote from Darryl
Oscar: Hi. We'd like a couples discount on a pair of foot massages.
Manager: No. No discount for two men. Two men are not a couple.
Oscar: We are together. Romantically.
Manager: Two men? [speaks to nail technician in Korean, both laugh; shows index fingers bumping together] Doesn't work. No discount.
Darryl: Oh, it works. Him and me, all right, we are crazy in love. More love than your small mind can comprehend. And we have two disposable incomes and no kids. And we're taking our business elsewhere. [Oscar and Darryl walk out holding hands]
Quote from Meredith
Nellie: I'm not going to rat on him. No, Andy gave me a second chance. So, the least I could do is let somebody else rat on him. Meredith, why don't you?
Meredith: Meredith Palmer ain't never been called no nark. Floozy? Yes. Alkie? Check. Einstein sarcastically? You bet. But never no nark. Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me. Flesh hoover?
Erin: Hey!
Pete: Meredith, that's plenty. All right? That's more than plenty. Why does no one stop her?