Dwight K. Schrute Quote #1018
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in After Hours
Dwight K. Schrute: Where did you see it?
Jim: In the bed.
Cathy: I haven't seen anything.
Dwight K. Schrute: We gotta find it before it eggs.
Cathy: Jeez.
Dwight K. Schrute: Describe it.
Jim: Brown, shiny, painful bite.
Dwight K. Schrute: Could be a bat weevil... Describe its mood. Did it seen sleepy?
Jim: Stressed. But to be fair, it was a tense situation.
Dwight K. Schrute: Fair enough, but after it bit you, did it run away fearful, or did it walk away smug, self-assured?
Jim: So smug. Like he thought it was funny, like this.
Dwight K. Schrute: Pfft. That's a bedbug.
Jim: Yeah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Everything's a joke.
Jim: I know.
Dwight K. Schrute: Check your hair! [checks Jim's hair]
Jim: Ow.
Dwight K. Schrute: God, oh. So greasy, you should just shave all this.
Jim: Just check it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You are clean. Okay... One thing a bedbug thrives on is heat and carbon dioxide [starts running in place and turning up the thermostat] I am going to generate myself into a human trap. [starts to take off clothes] When I jump into the bed, you are going to cover me with the sheet immediately. And then we'll see who's laughing. [maniacal laugh]
The Office Quotes
‘After Hours’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Win at all costs. Don't respect women. These are the tenets I was brought up with, and they have served me well. But my ancestors never worked in corporate America. They were farmers. And before that, hunters. And before that, time travelers. And before that, me again. At least, that's how the legend goes. The point is they never had to worry about how they got ahead. They just had to put food on the table and not alter the past.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: If Jim has bedbugs, that means they're everywhere. I can't risk them coming back to Schrute Farms. Our biggest attraction is our 200 year old mattresses.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: English peoples' main use today is judging American talent. [in a British accent] You're crap. You're wonderful. [back to American] They're mean, but they're incisive.