Dwight K. Schrute: Win at all costs. Don't respect women. These are the tenets I was brought up with, and they have served me well. But my ancestors never worked in corporate America. They were farmers. And before that, hunters. And before that, time travelers. And before that, me again. At least, that's how the legend goes. The point is they never had to worry about how they got ahead. They just had to put food on the table and not alter the past.

Dwight K. Schrute: If Jim has bedbugs, that means they're everywhere. I can't risk them coming back to Schrute Farms. Our biggest attraction is our 200 year old mattresses.

Dwight K. Schrute: English peoples' main use today is judging American talent. [in a British accent] You're crap. You're wonderful. [back to American] They're mean, but they're incisive.