Dwight K. Schrute Quote #974
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Jury Duty
Dwight K. Schrute: Angela, this child is definitely mine. He looks just like me.
Angela: Every baby looks just like you. Your face kind of looks like a baby.
Dwight K. Schrute: Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding?
Angela: That is completely untrue.
Dwight K. Schrute: Completely true. Remember?
Angela: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: You said that Robert was not fulfilling you-
Angela: I did not. Uh-uh.
Dwight K. Schrute: -and I said, "I bet I could fulfill you," and you said, "I'd like to see you try," and then I kissed you with the force of a thousand waterfalls.
Angela: That didn't happen.
Dwight K. Schrute: And then I inserted my penis-
Angela: No! Stop it!
Dwight K. Schrute: Into your-
Angela: Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Vagina and-
Angela: And even if it did, it's just a coincidence.
Dwight K. Schrute: Admit that there is a chance.
Angela: I will not.
Dwight K. Schrute: Admit it. Admit it.
Angela: I will not, it's not-
The Office Quotes
‘Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Oscar
Andy: So, what did you bring?
Oscar: Oh yeah, I don't know if it's right, but-
Senator Lipton: Well, if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper, you hit it out of the park.
Angela: Aw, preemie pajamas!
Oscar: Again, it may not be the right size. I can return-
Angela: No, I think he came early just so he could wear these. Thank you.
Kevin: I got Little Kevin "Call of Duty".
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: This baby is clearly not premature. They're lying about the date it was conceived. It's very interesting. And her husband's gay. I don't even know which thread to follow.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Nurse, you know that baby in there, baby Philip? Cancel the circumcision.
Nurse: Who are you?
Dwight K. Schrute: I just might be his father.
Nurse: I don't know what that means. We're gonna circumcise him.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I was in Los Angeles last year. Jim tricked me into thinking I'd won a walk-on part on NCIS, but that's not important. While I was being kicked off the lot, I saw food trucks everywhere. Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them. And nobody calls them restaurants.