Jim Quote #533
Jim: Uh, excuse me, can I have everyone's attention for a second? First off, I just want to say that I'm really sorry, I didn't know that my absence last week would have been a burden on any of you, because, though I did have jury duty last week, they did dismiss me early on Monday. And I think you're going to find this pretty hilarious. I kind of, uh, well, maybe took the week off.
Stanley: What?
Jim: Funny? No? Nobody laughing?
Dwight K. Schrute: [laughs] You're screwed! Oh, it's happening. It's really happening.
Stanley: What the hell, Jim? I covered for your bony butt.
Jim: Pam really needed some help with the kids, so, I promise my intentions were good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Your clients. They're all mine.
Darryl: Jim, I got my ass chewed out because one of your orders got messed up. And Andy, you said you drove him to the courthouse.
Andy: Uh, I did, every morning. And if I didn't, then I hope I die.
The Office Quotes
‘Jury Duty’ Quotes
Quote from Oscar
Andy: So, what did you bring?
Oscar: Oh yeah, I don't know if it's right, but-
Senator Lipton: Well, if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper, you hit it out of the park.
Angela: Aw, preemie pajamas!
Oscar: Again, it may not be the right size. I can return-
Angela: No, I think he came early just so he could wear these. Thank you.
Kevin: I got Little Kevin "Call of Duty".
[aside to camera:]
Oscar: This baby is clearly not premature. They're lying about the date it was conceived. It's very interesting. And her husband's gay. I don't even know which thread to follow.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Nurse, you know that baby in there, baby Philip? Cancel the circumcision.
Nurse: Who are you?
Dwight K. Schrute: I just might be his father.
Nurse: I don't know what that means. We're gonna circumcise him.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I was in Los Angeles last year. Jim tricked me into thinking I'd won a walk-on part on NCIS, but that's not important. While I was being kicked off the lot, I saw food trucks everywhere. Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them. And nobody calls them restaurants.