Dwight K. Schrute Quote #906

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Spooked

Bert: Very low pressure in the Sargasso Sea, warm air from South America, cold air from Greenland. All signs point to the perfect storm.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, perfectly mediocre.
Bert: What are you, anyway?
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm a Jamaican zombie woman. Leave me alone, ghoul.
Bert: If you had some really big wings with blades on the end, you'd kind of look like Kerrigan from Starcraft.
Dwight K. Schrute: Damnit. I am Kerrigan from Starcraft! I've been censored.
Bert: If you're going to be a Zerg, at least be a Lurker, not some girl.
Dwight K. Schrute: Kerrigan is ruler of the Zerg swarm!
Bert: Yeah, she also has boobs.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, but no nipples.

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 ‘Spooked’ Quotes

Quote from Robert

Robert: When I was a boy, there was an empty house just up the hill from my family's. It was rumored a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the devil. One day, a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night, Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous hissing sound. [hisses] She walked to the nursery, and there, in baby's crib, was a snake wrapped around baby's neck, squeezing tighter and tighter.
Creed: Oh my goodness.
Robert: The crib was full of dirt. Baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching toward baby. For they were mummies.
Kevin: No!
Robert: Amongst them was a man, tall, slim.
Meredith: Jim. [rolls eyes]
Robert: Almost instinctively, she turned to her husband. "Oh, wait," she thought, "I don't have a husband." For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn't get past. Each night, they slept one inch farther apart, until one night, Lydia left. It was about this time she lost herself in imaginary worlds. She had quit the book club, the choir, citing something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse. Every time she wanted to act and didn't, another part of her face hardened, until it was stone. And that fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door, "Baby, are you okay?" Baby sat up slowly, turned to mother and said, "I'm fine, bitch. I'm fine."
Bert: [laughs]

Quote from Creed

Robert: Looks terribly real, doesn't it, Creed?
Creed: No...
Robert: Are you scared of snakes?
Creed: You don't live as long as I have without a healthy fear of snakes, Bobby.

Quote from Robert

Robert: Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us. How dare we let it into our decision making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships. It's funny, isn't it, we take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear.