Andy Quote #360

Quote from Andy in The Incentive

Jim: What if we went all the way up to five hundred points?
Andy: That's a crazy amount of points.
Jim: But, what if?
Andy: Well, what do you want?
Jim: I don't know, for such a crazy number I'd like something pretty crazy.
Andy: Alright. For five hundred points, I will wear a dress to work. [laughter]
Jim: That's pretty good. What about uh, for a thousand points?
Andy: I'll run naked through the parking lot with a donut on my ding-dong. [laughter] Yeah? You like that? Alright! For five thousand points, I will let you tattoo whatever you want on the stern of the old SS Bernard!

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 ‘The Incentive’ Quotes

Quote from Kevin

Jim: Hey, so this isn't matching up with this and I'm not sure which one's right. Can you just hunt down the original for me?
Kevin: Yes. Me do.
Jim: Alright.
[later:]
Jim: Hey, Kev, what were you saying before about the paperwork?
Kevin: Me do it now. Go. Stop worry.
Pam: Kevin, do you feel okay?
Kevin: Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.
Pam: Yeah, I think we should get him to the hospital.
Jim: Yeah, alright. Kev, why don't you come with us?
Oscar: No, guys.
Angela: No, he's fine.
Oscar: He's fine.
Angela: He's always been like that.
Pam: No, he hasn't.
Angela: I mean, he's gotten worse over the years....
Oscar: He's making a statement. It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. A fun-house image of our model of Kevin.
Kevin: You keep think that.
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say "car no go", and we best friends. So me think: why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?

Quote from Kevin

Jim: Does it save time though? ‘Cause we've been here for about an hour.
Kevin: No me fault.
Pam: Kevin, at most you're saving a microscopic amount of time.
Kevin: Many small time make big time.
Andy: What are you gonna do with all this time?
Kevin: See world.
Pam: Kevin, you cannot possibly save enough time to see the world.
Jim: Kevin, are you saying "See the world"? or "Sea World?"
Kevin: See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China.
Jim: No, see? Right there, that's the problem with your method. ‘Cause I still don't know if you're saying "Sea World" or "see the world," and it's taking a lot of time to explain it.
Kevin: Fine, fine. I'll talk normally.
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: When me President, they see. They see.

Quote from Robert

Robert: Why did I choose Andy to run the office? Because he's all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get. Could be a recipe for mediocrity, yes, but then again, it might just be why people fight for him. There's something about an underdog that really inspires... the unexceptional.