Dwight K. Schrute Quote #875
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Search Committee
Dwight K. Schrute: Now, listen...
Jim: You're not getting an interview, Dwight. The whole point of this Search Committee process is to prevent hiring someone like you ever again.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I know why you're saying that, Jim. I really do. But think of it this way. The hand that reaches from the grave to grip your throat is the strong hand you want on the wheel.
Jim: Okay. That's vivid.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm going to make you an offer. Okay? You even do so little as grant me an interview, I will guarantee you your dream work life. Okay? You roll in at 10 a.m. to your own private reserved parking spot, pick up your daily free coffee from Dwight's Caffeine Corner, unlimited sex breaks for you and Pam...
Jim: Yikes.
Dwight K. Schrute: Erin will eat garbage for your entertainment.
Jim: Well, you know how I like taking bribes.
Dwight K. Schrute: Ha ha!
Jim: But unfortunately, Jo also took the job away from you because she doesn't trust your judgment. So how would that look for me, if I recommended you?
Dwight K. Schrute: Fine. I'll do it without you, but you'll regret this.
The Office Quotes
‘Search Committee’ Quotes
Quote from Robert
Toby: How will your experience selling refinery equipment translate to our smaller scale here?
Robert: You don't work in sales, do you?
Toby: Uh, human resources.
Robert: You see, I sit across from a man. I see his face. I see his eyes. Now, does it matter if he wants a hundred dollars of paper or a hundred million dollars of deep-sea drilling equipment? Don't be a fool. He wants respect. He wants love. He wants to be younger. He wants to be attractive. There is no such thing as a product. Don't ever think there is. There is only... sex. Everything... is sex. You understand that what I'm telling you is a universal truth... Toby?
Toby: Yes.
Quote from Darryl
Darryl: Think about it! What other mammal, besides humans, drinks the milk of another mammal? I mean, you don't see a bear drinking raccoon milk.
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: What was that?
Gabe: We just have a lot of serious candidates to get through today, so...
Kelly: Am I not a serious candidate?
Gabe: What do you want me to say? I mean, there's a line of qualified people out there. We have a video CV from England. [to Jim and Toby] Are we all just gonna pretend to-- okay. [to Kelly] Um, what are your weaknesses?
Kelly: I don't have any, ass[bleep].