Jim Quote #478
Quote from Jim in Search Committee
Jim: Your paper experience is very interesting. Do you think you could use that experience to inform decisions here?
Fred: Absolutely. I- Yes. In fact, I actually have a three-step plan that I believe could effectively double your profits.
Jim: Really?
Fred: Yeah.
Jim: ... What is it?
Fred: Nice try.
Toby: I'm sorry. What is your three-step plan?
Fred: Well, I mean, I can't just hand you my plan. I mean, if you guys give me the job, then, then you'll get the plan.
Gabe: Well, it's an interview, and we don't know that you really have the plan.
Fred: Well, I'm not gonna just make up that I have a plan. I got a plan. Believe me, you guys want it. You're in paper, right?
Gabe: How do we know that, if you don't...
Jim: You could just be saying it to get the job.
Fred: I guess I could be, if I was... Who would do that?
Jim: How about this. Why don't you give us a part of the plan, and that way we know you have it.
Fred: Tell you what. I'll give you part three of part two. Not gonna give you a whole part.
Jim: Okay.
Fred: Color-code said documents, TM.
Jim: Did you just trademark that?
Toby: W-What?
Fred: That's a verbal trademark. That's an agreement.
The Office Quotes
‘Search Committee’ Quotes
Quote from Robert
Toby: How will your experience selling refinery equipment translate to our smaller scale here?
Robert: You don't work in sales, do you?
Toby: Uh, human resources.
Robert: You see, I sit across from a man. I see his face. I see his eyes. Now, does it matter if he wants a hundred dollars of paper or a hundred million dollars of deep-sea drilling equipment? Don't be a fool. He wants respect. He wants love. He wants to be younger. He wants to be attractive. There is no such thing as a product. Don't ever think there is. There is only... sex. Everything... is sex. You understand that what I'm telling you is a universal truth... Toby?
Toby: Yes.
Quote from Darryl
Darryl: Think about it! What other mammal, besides humans, drinks the milk of another mammal? I mean, you don't see a bear drinking raccoon milk.
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: What was that?
Gabe: We just have a lot of serious candidates to get through today, so...
Kelly: Am I not a serious candidate?
Gabe: What do you want me to say? I mean, there's a line of qualified people out there. We have a video CV from England. [to Jim and Toby] Are we all just gonna pretend to-- okay. [to Kelly] Um, what are your weaknesses?
Kelly: I don't have any, ass[bleep].