Dwight K. Schrute Quote #725
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Chump
Mediator: I don't follow this exactly. Uh, "The Descendants of any replicants from this union shall have..."
Dwight and Angela: Joint custody
Mediator: Are we talking about your grandchildren?
Angela: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
[aside to camera:]
Angela: Rather than spend all day in court, we've decided to settle our dispute using a mediator. It was an option spelled out in our child-rearing contract.
Dwight K. Schrute: Alleged contract.
Angela: Alleged? I'm going to own your farm by the time this is over.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just try. I will do legal jujitsu on you. Gyah! [pretends to karate chop her neck] See, don't even need to make contact. The law will do it.
The Office Quotes
‘The Chump’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: And if I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
All: No. No.
Jim: That's... not okay.
Michael Scott: Okay, alright.
Dwight K. Schrute: You were being really funny, and then you went too far.
Michael Scott: I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.
Quote from Meredith
Meredith: That is something I would never do.
Michael Scott: Well, I think we all know what you're capable of Meredith.
Meredith: Hey, I have never cheated on, been cheated on, or been used to cheat with.
[aside to camera:]
Meredith: I ask everyone in the room, "Are you in a relationship?"
Quote from Pam
Erin: We have Mr. Bean playing in the conference room and the Pink Panther movie in his office. With half hour shifts to watch it with him.
Pam: And we need bodies in both these rooms, people. So please sign up.
Erin: He's coming.
Pam: Oh, okay. Everyone, remember, when he get's like this, he will wallow if you empathize. Keep conversations light and if you get stuck, and you don't know what to do, make a random sound effect. Okay, farting noise, whatever. Okay.