Michael Scott: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, "Let them eat cake." Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.

Michael Scott: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: [on the phone] Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
Michael Scott: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.

Andy: Creed's head of quality assurance. So he'd definitely be wrapped up in this.
[separately to camera:]
Creed: So there I am, minding my own business and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. [draws finger across neck] Darnell's a chump. I would have done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.

Andy: Hey, Stanley. One of my clients just called and said that their Sabre printer started smoking and caught on fire.
Stanley: My doctor told me to cut out hot dogs. We all got problems.

Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, I'm good. Hey, you know an exercise for two people that uses the whole body?
Donna: [chuckles] Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.
Dwight K. Schrute: Tractor pulling. Too bad there's not a tractor here.