Pam: Okay. All of these things are important to remember, but the most important thing is that no one say anything about my pregnancy at the wedding.
Jim: Absolutely. 'Cause not everyone knows and some people might be offended.
Angela: Decent people everywhere will be offended.
Pam: Well, we're thinking of my grandmother who we haven't told and is very old-fashioned.
Angela: Well, you're lucky you have a grandmother. Some of us have to be our own grandmothers.

Michael Scott: [talking to an attractive woman] Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Up. I bawl the entire time. I can not watch Pixar.

Kevin: I left a pair of dress shoes in a bag outside my door last night to be cleaned and polished, but they haven't been returned yet.
Front Desk Clerk: You must be Mr. Malone. One moment please.
Kevin: Thank you.
Front Desk Clerk: [whispers to manager] Sir, it's the man with the shoes.
Hotel Manager: Mr. Malone, your shoes are gone.
Kevin: They were stolen?
Hotel Manager: No, destroyed.
Kevin: What?
Hotel Manager: When the bag was opened by our shoe shine, the smell overcame him. I too smelled them and made the choice that they must be thrown away. Incinerated actually.
Kevin: But that was my only pair of shoes.
Hotel Manager: It became a safety issue, sir.
Kevin: Well... Well, damn it.
Front Desk Clerk: I can offer you a complimentary breakfast.
Kevin: Okay.