Dwight K. Schrute Quote #586

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Promotion

Dwight K. Schrute: [in Jim's office] I'd like to lodge a complaint.
Jim: I'm sorry to hear about that. Who is this about?
Dwight K. Schrute: You!
Jim: Okay. Just want to let you know I take complaints very seriously. So... When did this happen?
Dwight K. Schrute: One minute ago.
Jim: Okay. And how do you feel?
Dwight K. Schrute: Angry.
Jim: All right. Did he hit you?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: Did you cry?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: Did you feel like crying?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: I'm just gonna write "held back tears."
Dwight K. Schrute: Wait, stop writing that. That is not true.
Jim: If you stop crying, I'll stop writing it.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm not cr- Uh!

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 ‘The Promotion’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: People are starting to notice how terrible Jim is. It's great. Eventually, they'll rise up and revolt. My only hope is that they do it sooner rather than later. If the people here were our founding fathers, the Revolutionary War would have been delayed ten years. Because Stanley Washington was napping. And Phyllis Hancock was still signing the declaration. And Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.

Quote from Jim

Jim: I've been studying Michael for years, and I've condensed what I've learned into this chart. How Michael spends his time. As you can see, we have procrastinating and distracting others, and this tiny sliver here is critical thinking. I made it bigger, so that you could see it.

Quote from Oscar

Oscar: Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that any organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?