Kevin Quote #102

Quote from Kevin in Two Weeks

Kevin: Pam, when will the new copier be ready?
Pam: I'm working on it, Kev.
Kevin: You said it would be ready by today. And it is today.
Pam: It'll be ready soon.
Kevin: "Soon" could mean anything. "Soon" could be three weeks.
Pam: Is that what "soon" means to you?
Kevin: Sometimes.
Pam: Then come back soon.

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 ‘Two Weeks’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Pam: Well, fine. Do the German instructions say what this is supposed to do?
Dwight K. Schrute: Deutsch. Let me see here. It is either an incense dispenser or a ceremonial sarcophagus.
Pam: Huh.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: You want me to translate the German instructions for you?
Pam: No, I'm sure they're pretty much the same as the English instructions.
Dwight K. Schrute: Pfft. Typical American arrogance that got us involved in a war we never should have been in.
Pam: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: World War II.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Jim: Have you called headhunters?
Michael Scott: Any good headhunter knows that I am available.
Dwight K. Schrute: Any really good headhunter will storm your village with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a knife.
Jim: Right, 'cause that's what we're talking about.