Dwight K. Schrute Quote #509

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Blood Drive

Michael Scott: Nobody's after me. I just- I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by.
Kelly: You met a woman when you were giving blood? That is so romantic.
Michael Scott: It's not a big deal really. I just, you know, met somebody, we hardly talked. I picked up her glove, so I was hoping I could give it back to her.
Kelly: Oh, my God. That makes it even more romantic. This is like a modern day Enchanted. It's like a fairy tale.
Meredith: She could be your soul mate.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, not likely. 3 billion woman on the planet, most of them live in Asia, so the numbers just don't add up.

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 ‘Blood Drive’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Having trouble finding a vein?
Nurse: Yup, a little.
Dwight K. Schrute: How about now?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I've trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.

Quote from Pam

Phone Salesman: Hi.
Pam: Good morning, can I help you?
Phone Salesman: Yes, I'm from Techstar about a new phone system for you. I was wondering if I could talk to Michael Scott.
Pam: I'm sorry, he's not in right now.
Phone Salesman: Really? He's never around when I come by.
Pam: Shoot.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses star and they go to accounting, basically 95% of my job. But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. ... Vending machine.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: These people need love and I am going to get it for them. Who cares if we sell a little bit less paper today? A great boss cares more about the happiness of his employees then anything else. I am going to be Cupid, and I am going to shoot my sparrow at unsuspecting victims, and they are going to get hit and say, "Ah! I'm in love. I was hit by cupid's sparrow." Funny little bird, but he gets the job done.