Michael Scott Quote #1360
Quote from Michael Scott in Stress Relief
Michael Scott: Woo! Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. You are all jerks. Just kidding, not yet anyway. Welcome to the roast of Mr. Michael Scott. If you're here for the Grabowski wedding, it is the second door on the left. So, we all know how these work. Needs to get crazy. Take your best shot. I am going to sit right here on my chair and, uh, whoever wants to come up and roast me, you may. [Angela gets up on stage] Okay, lower the mic for the midget.
The Office Quotes
‘Stress Relief’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, come on. It's not real, Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael Scott: No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!
Quote from Michael Scott
CPR Trainer: All right, well, lets get back to it. 'Cause you're losing him. Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute .
Michael Scott: Okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Jim: How's that gonna help you?
Michael Scott: Well, I will divide and then count to it.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He's either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say, "Michael, take two steps back, and stare at the icicle from the side." And he's like, "No, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them."