Michael Scott: Well, got almost everybody, so... Holly's my family now. She's my family. And the babies that I make with her will be my children. The people that you work with are just, when you get down to it, your very best friends. They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office, but I will. Got to be a lot better than a deathbed. I actually don't understand deathbeds. I mean, who would buy that?

Michael Scott: Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet. And this office is like the dragon that kept them apart.

Michael Scott: [whispering] People expect a lot from these meetings: laughter, sudden twists, surprise endings. You need to be Robin Williams and M. Night Shyamalan. You need to be Robin Shyamalan.
Holly: Well, I just have to get through the binder.
Michael Scott: Just you're kind of losing them.

Kelly: Why is it okay for smokers to take breaks all the time? If I want to go outside and hang out once an hour, then I'll just take up smoking. I'll do it. I don't care.
Meredith: I'll smoke with you. I got a bag of cigars in my purse.

Jim: He has not stopped working for a second. At 12:45, he sneezed while keeping his eyes open, which I always thought was impossible. At 1:32, he peed, and I know that because he did it in an open soda bottle under the desk while filling out expense reports. And on the flip side, I've been so busy watching him that I haven't even started work. It's exhausting being this vigilant. I'll probably have to go home early today.