Michael Scott: Why did I do it? I don't know. Jan said that it was because of the photo that she revealed the diary. But she already brought the diary with her to New York. So... You expect to get screwed by your company. But you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.

Jan: People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at. Like ice skating. He is a very good ice skater.

Mr. Schneider: Can you go back to where this digression began?
Stenographer: "Mr. Schneider: 'And you were directly under her the entire time?' Mr. Scott: 'That's what she said.'"
Michael Scott: Well... Delivery's all wrong. She's butchering it.