Dwight K. Schrute Quote #384
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Survivor Man
Michael Scott: This is what a true survivorman does. You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. You can only wear the clothes that you have on. And you can only use the stuff that you have in your pockets. Now in this case, this disaster is a serial killer, creepy guy who's abducted me, and is taking me out into the wilderness to leave me for dead.
Dwight K. Schrute: No. I would never leave you for dead. You would never escape.
Michael Scott: Well yes, I would and then I would survive.
Dwight K. Schrute: I would make sure that you were dead, believe me. Then I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips so you couldn't be identified. And they would call me the overkill killer.
Michael Scott: You are as creepy as a real serial killer. For real.
The Office Quotes
‘Survivor Man’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had velcroed under my desk. People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace." Well, I say it's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth and clothing and television and hamburgers and to walk upright, and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. I don't need fresh air because I have the freshest air around: A.C. And I don't need wide open spaces. Check it out. [turning monitor around to reveal desktop] I can also make it the sky.
Quote from Stanley
Meredith: What is Jim thinking? It's a birthday. So what if there's a lot of them.
Kevin: Yeah, I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.
Stanley: I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don't have some cake soon, I might die.
Oscar: Why don't you have an apple?
Stanley: Why don't you mind your business?