Dwight K. Schrute Quote #381
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Branch Wars
Jim: [on walkie-talkie] Alright, Great Scott, if you found that choking hazard poster, just head on home.
Michael Scott: We found something far better, their crown jewel. Their industrial copier.
Jim: Isn't that thing huge?
Dwight K. Schrute: It's enormous, but it's got wheels. We're wheeling it down the hall, into the stairwell. Get the car ready, keep the engine running.
Jim: No, that is a terrible idea, don't do this.
[Screaming and a crashing sound is heard across the walkie-talkie]
Dwight K. Schrute: My hip bone!
Michael Scott: We're wedged between the copier and the railing. Ow, my leg! Jim, leave us. Save yourself!
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't leave us, help us, we need help Jim!
Jim: First of all, stop using my name. And second of all-Damn it guys!
The Office Quotes
‘Branch Wars’ Quotes
Quote from Stanley
Michael Scott: How can I get you to stay?
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Yeah, we all want money. But there is none in the budget, so... Tell me why you're really leaving.
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Mo money mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that. Let me ask you this: If I were-
Stanley: Money.
Quote from Jim
Jim: [in an Irish accent] Angela's Ashes, top o' the morning to us. Frankie's prose is funnier than a pot of gold, say I.
Oscar: Okay. Did you get it out of your system?
Jim: Yep. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought was a fun read.
Toby: Fun? Really?
Jim: Yeah.
Toby: What was fun about it for you? Was it the death of the twins?
Jim: No, that wasn't fun.
Toby: Did you even read it?
Jim: Of course I read it.
Oscar: How does it end?
Toby: Who was the main character?
Jim: Angela. Nope. The ashes.
Quote from Stanley
Stanley: Michael, a word?
Michael Scott: Of course.
Stanley: I changed my mind, I wanna keep this job.
Michael Scott: Really?
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: I wasn't really planning on leaving, all I wanted was a raise. How on Earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? [laughing] Sometimes I say crazy things.