Dwight K. Schrute: Listen up. Let's start from the ground up. Where does paper come from?
Kevin: Trees.
Dwight K. Schrute: Trees. And where do trees grow?
Kevin: Forests.
Dwight K. Schrute: Soil. Right. We have in front of you here seven different types of Pennsylvania topsoil. Now, what would you say is the most important element in the production of above-ground leafy growth? Probably phosphorus, right? Wrong. It's nitrogen. Absorb this information.

Ryan: Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the Internet, it's pretty shocking.

Dwight K. Schrute: Once I am officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified.