Dwight K. Schrute: I wish I could menstruate. [aside to camera:] If I could menstruate, I wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.

Michael Scott: Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable. There's a wishing fountain at the mall, and I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me. I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV. I wished for Pam to gain courage. I wished for Angela a heart and for Kelly a brain. Michael, how can you appreciate women so much but also dump one of them? You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well, maybe I learned something from women after all.

Karen: Look, it's really simple. We just want you guys to treat us with respect.
Michael Scott: See? That's what we're talking about. Did you hear that, Dwight?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. Did you hear that, Michael?
Michael Scott: No, Dwight. Respect. R- E-S-P-C-T. Find out what it means to me.