Dwight K. Schrute: I don't care what Jim says. That is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.

Michael Scott: Hello, everyone. As you know, we are six days away from Phyllis' wedding. So get your suits to the dry cleaners and get your hair did. And Karen, you might wanna invest in a dress or a skirt of some kind if you don't already have one. This may be Phyllis' only wedding ever. It's my job to insure that none of you look like ragamuffins. So I am instituting prima nocta.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Prima nocta, I believe, from the movie Braveheart and confirmed on Wikipedia, is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night. So...
[later:]
Michael Scott: I'm sorry, I had a very different understanding as to what prima nocta meant.

Michael Scott: Yesterday, I was scraping some gunk off my wall sockets with a metal fork and I gave myself the nastiest shock. And when I came to, I had an "epiphery". Life is precious. And if I die, I want my son to know the dealio. The dealio of life.