Michael Scott: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, "Let them eat cake." Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.

Michael Scott: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: [on the phone] Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
Michael Scott: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.

Dwight K. Schrute: For your convenience, I've broken it down into three parts. Professional resume, athletic and special skills resume and Dwight Schrute trivia.

Dwight K. Schrute: One of my life goals was to die right here in my desk chair. And today, that dream was shattered.

Andy: Five of us transferred from Stamford. There's two of us left. Me and Karen. It's like we're touring Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and dropping off one by one. Well, guess what? I'm not falling in a chocolate river.