Dwight K. Schrute: Kelly, I'll take this one. Diwali is a celebration of the coronation of the God-king Rama after his epic battle with Ravana, the demon-king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael Scott: All right. All right. This isn't Lord of the Rings.

Michael Scott: My Indian cultural seminar was going great until Toby decided he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people, everybody does it. I'm doing it with Carole probably tonight.

Michael Scott: Now a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million and that's true, but it's also not true, because frankly, there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world. Here are some famous Indians. [taking out a note] Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar. He is a Nobel Prize-winning physicist. Impressive. Apu from The Simpsons. Hilarious Indian. M. Night Shyamalan, The Village, Unbreakable, Sixth Sense-
Dwight K. Schrute: "I see dead people."
Michael Scott: Okay. Spoiler alert.
Dwight K. Schrute: He was dead the whole time.
Michael Scott: Just stop it.