Dwight K. Schrute Quote #195

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Grief Counseling

Dwight K. Schrute: I'm sorry. I grew up on a farm. We slaughtered a pig whenever we wanted bacon. My grandfather was reburied in an old oil drum. It would have fit if he had given me another minute.

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Features in the collection: Schrute Farms.

‘Schrute Farms’

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Office Olympics

Dwight K. Schrute: Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60 acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to local stores and restaurants. It's a nice little farm. Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Product Recall

Dwight K. Schrute: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.

 ‘Grief Counseling’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Michael Scott: Phyllis, you want to give it a shot?
Dwight K. Schrute: I got it. When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: There are five stages to grief, which are [clearly reading from his computer screen] denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And right now, out there, they are all denying the fact that they're sad, and that's hard, and it's making them all angry. And it is my job to try to get them all the way through to acceptance and, if not acceptance, then just depression. If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job.

Quote from Pam

Michael Scott: Okay, I'm going to toss the ball to Pam.
Pam: Let's see. I had an aunt that I was really close to. She was this amazing female boxer. Anyway, she was injured in a fight, and she was paralyzed. So you can imagine how upset I was when I found out that she asked her manager to remove her breathing tube so she could die.
Michael Scott: Wow. If you want to cry, that's okay.