Michael Scott Quote #442
Quote from Michael Scott in Conflict Resolution
Michael Scott: A "Mediators Tool chest." Okay. Well, before we get started, you should know that there are five different styles of conflict. [in mock Asian accent] My Shaolin temple style defeats your monkey style.
Angela: Can we go? I have a lot of work to do.
Michael Scott: No. This is important. Okay. The first style is lose-Iose.
Oscar: What's the next one?
Michael Scott: Just hold on, please. Okay. If we do lose-Iose, neither of you gets what you want. Do you understand? You would both lose. Now, I need to ask you, do you want to pursue a lose-Iose negotiation?
Angela: Can we just skip to whatever number five is, win-win or whatever.
Michael Scott: Win-win is number four. And number five is win-win-win. The important difference here is with win-win-win, we all win. Me, too. I win for having successfully mediated a conflict at work.
The Office Quotes
‘Conflict Resolution’ Quotes
Quote from Jim
Michael Scott: Okay. So, Dwight, in your own words, "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons.
I suspect Jim Halpert." "Everyone has called me Dwayne all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to."
Jim: [aside to camera:] Yes. 5 bucks each and it was totally worth it.
Michael Scott: "This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer, and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer." "Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women's room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can." Gag. "This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone."
Jim: [aside to camera:] That actually took a while. I had to put more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight. And then I just took them all out.
Michael Scott: "Every time I typed my name, it said diapers."
Jim: [aside to camera:] Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don't sound that funny, one after another. But he does deserve it, though.
Michael Scott: "By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier."
Jim: [aside to camera:] Yeah. I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. And that's how I spent my entire day, that day.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: I love this place, and it pains me to see all of the negativity festering. Okay. Today we are going to get everything out of these files and into the open where it can be resolved. All right. How about the Phyllis-Angela dispute.
Angela: You already did me.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.