Kevin: It's negative.
Michael Scott: Oh, God! We're gonna beat this, okay? We're gonna- Come here.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Well, apparently, in the medicine community, "negative" means "good," which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.

Michael Scott: So, Phil recruited me to sell these cards, and now I am recruiting you.
Oscar: Who is this guy again?
Michael Scott: Don't worry about Phil. He drives a Corvette. He's doing just fine. Okay. Calling cards are the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.
Ryan: Who uses calling cards anymore?
Michael Scott: You know what? That's a nice attitude, Ryan. I'm just helping you invest in your future, my friend.
Oscar: It sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme.
Michael Scott: Yes, thank you. You will get rich quick. We all will.
Toby: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, that one from the e-mail?
Michael Scott: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay? All right, so raise your hand if you wanna get rich. All right.
Jim: No. How is this not a pyramid scheme?
Michael Scott: All right, let me explain, again. Phil has recruited me and another guy. Now we are getting three people each. The more people that get involved, the more people who are investing, the more money we're all gonna make. It's not a pyramid scheme. It is a- It's not even a scheme, per se. It's...
[Jim draws a triangle around Michael's drawing of the different levels of participants]
Michael Scott: I have to go make a call.

Michael Scott: Today is my B-day. And people around here just go crazy for it. I don't know why. Oh, fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. So, I have a perfect icebreaker if I ever meet Teri Hatcher.