Michael Scott: Listen, I like kids. But this is not a kids' environment. This is like HBO. No limits. Who knows what I'm gonna say? Crazy stuff. And it is "R" rated. It is not rated "G." I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw. And they are trying to make me into Eddie Murphy in Daddy Day Care. Both great movies, but still.

Dwight K. Schrute: The Schrutes consider children very valuable. In the olden days, the women would bear many children, so we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter and there weren't enough grains or vegetables, they would eat the weakest of the brood. [chuckling] No, they didn't eat the children. It never came to that.

Dwight K. Schrute: That was Greensleeves, a traditional English ballad about the beheaded Anne Boleyn. And now, a very special treat. A book my grom-mutter used to read me when I was a kid. This is a very special story. It's called Struwwelpeterl by Heinrich Hoffmann from 1864. "The great tall tailor always comes to little girls that suck their thumbs." Are you listening, Sasha? Right? "And ere they dream what he's about, he takes his great sharp scissors out and then cuts their thumbs clean off."
Michael Scott: Dwight, Dwight!
Dwight K. Schrute: There's a photo.
Michael Scott: What the hell are you reading to them?
Dwight K. Schrute: These are cautionary tales for kids. My grom-mutter used to read them.