Michael Scott: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It's good for me. It's a perfect way to start the day. Today, I got up, I stepped onto the grill, and it clamped down on my foot. That's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.

Michael Scott: Can I have everyone's attention, please? Phyllis. Oscar. Ryan, who is supposed to be dead. Can I ask you all a question? Do you know what it's like to be disabled? Oscar?
Phyllis: Um, I had scoliosis as a girl.
Michael Scott: Never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman's trouble.
Creed: When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.
Michael Scott: Wh- How old are you? No, it Look, the point is, I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability. Although I'm sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled, and neither are you.
Michael Scott: Okay. What does this look like to you, Stanley?
Stanley: Mail Boxes Etc.
Michael Scott: Shut it.

Michael Scott: While we are waiting for our special guest to arrive, I wanted you all to take a look at a few of the many, many disabled icons who have contributed so much to our society.
Jim: Quick question.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Jim: Why is Tom Hanks on the wall?
Ryan: Twice.
Michael Scott: Good question. Forrest Gump, mentally challenged. Philadelphia, AIDS.
Kevin: I think that's from Big.
Michael Scott: I don't think so. No.
Kelly: Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.
Michael Scott: He grew into a man overnight, a rare disability. Still works.