Michael Scott: Corporate wants somebody to be here on Saturday and so we're going to have to have a couple of people come in on the weekend, and I know nobody's going to want to do it, and everybody's gonna complain and bitch and I don't wanna have to deal with that.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's why you have an assistant regional manager.
Michael Scott: Yes, it is. Assistant to the regional manager.
Dwight K. Schrute: Same thing.
Michael Scott: No, it's not. It's lower, so...
Dwight K. Schrute: It's close.

Michael Scott: When I am playing hoops, all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away. It's gone. I'm in the zone. Who am I? Am I Michael Scott? I don't know. I might just be a basketball machine. What's Dunder Mifflin? I've never heard of it. Filing? Paperwork? Who cares? Possible downsizing? Um... Well, that's probably gonna happen, actually.

Dwight K. Schrute: Can I be team captain?
Michael Scott: No, I'm team captain.
Dwight K. Schrute: Can I be team manager?
Michael Scott: No, I am the team manager. You can be assistant to the team manager.
Dwight K. Schrute: Assistant team manager?
Michael Scott: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, we'll see who's working this weekend then.