Dwight K. Schrute Quote #13
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Health Care
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael Scott: Uh, none. You're picking a health care plan.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. We'll table that for the time being. Two, I'm going to need an office. The conference room should be fine.
Michael Scott: You can use the conference room as a temporary work space.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. I have an office. Bigger than his.
Michael Scott: No, you cannot use it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I take it back. It's a workspace.
Michael Scott: Temporary workspace. You can use it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Thank you.
The Office Quotes
‘Health Care’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: What did I do? I did my job. I slashed benefits to the bone. I saved this company money. Was I too harsh? Maybe. I don't believe in coddling people. In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.
Quote from Pam
Jim: Wait. What are you writing? Don't write Ebola or mad cow disease. All right? 'cause I'm suffering from both.
Pam: I'm inventing new diseases.
Jim: Oh, great.
Pam: So, like, let's say my teeth turn to liquid and then they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?
Jim: I thought you said you were inventing diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.
Pam: Nice.
Jim: Thank you.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Jim: Well, why did you do that? You work here. Don't you want good insurance?
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't need it. Never been sick. Perfect immune system.
Jim: Okay, well, if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't need them. Superior genes. I'm a Schrute. And superior brainpower. Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you raise your cholesterol?
Dwight K. Schrute: So I can lower it.