Dwight K. Schrute Quote #1228
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Farm
Dwight K. Schrute: Henry.
Henry: Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: I see Esther's back in town.
Esther: Hi, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Hi Esther. Nice of you to come today.
Esther: This was on the way. We're going into town after. I need yarn.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, if you can snap two chicken necks with a single motion, why use two motions to slaughter those chickens.
Fannie: We're at a funeral. There's a funeral going on here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay.
Henry: Anyone mention her height?
Zeke: Yep.
Henry: Land size? [all shake heads; Henry removes his hat] Shirley, at 1600 acres, you have the largest farm in the area. Sharing borders with six other farms. Including my own farm. And your nephew Dwight's. [replaces hat] Okay. [taps on car door, drives away]
Dwight K. Schrute: So, let's get it going.
The Office Quotes
‘The Farm’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Erin: Dwight, what a ridiculous, fancy clown you are.
Dwight K. Schrute: I am dressed according to the Schrute codes of mourning. My aunt Shirley has died.
Pam: Oh, Dwight. I'm so sorry. Were you guys close?
Dwight K. Schrute: I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other. I raised myself. She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: My actual mother was very cold and distant. I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.
Quote from Creed
Pam: We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes. He was awful to us. And, he still is. How much is a cupcake? $2.50? Is that the price of our dignity?
Creed: $3.75 a cupcake, actually. $3.67 if you buy a dozen.
[aside to camera:]
Creed: I never forget a number. Names? In one ear and out the other. Places? Nope. Faces? That's rich. But, numbers? I have a gift. I guess that's why I'm an accountant.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: We Schrutes don't need some Harvard doctor to tell us who's alive and who's dead. But, there was an unlucky streak of burying some heavy sleepers. And, when grave robbers discovered some scratch marks on the inside of some of the coffins, we decided to make sure that our dead were completely dead. Out of kindness.