Dwight K. Schrute Quote #1162
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Suit Warehouse
Clark: So for your menswear catalog, I think we can offer you some very competitive pricing.
Sam Stone, Sr.: I heard that before...
Clark: Well, I understand, but–
Dwight K. Schrute: I bet you have. He knows nothing about what people have heard before, my son.
Clark: Here we go again, another lecture from the old man.
Sam Stone, Sr.: Listen to him. He created you.
Dwight K. Schrute: Maybe if you listened a little bit, you'd improve. No wonder women despise you.
Clark: Women don't despise me.
Dwight K. Schrute: oh. His last girlfriend was a transvestite. I knew it right away. Adam's apple like the prow of a ship, thumbs like a lowland gorilla. Ha, but this one couldn't see it, or didn't wanna see it.
Clark: Alright, that's enough, ‘cause I can say some things about him, too.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah? Like what?
Clark: Like the time that you got drunk and, and then... killed those kids on their way to prom!
Dwight K. Schrute: That never happened. He's always been a liar. Ever since he was a little kid and ge got caught "saving treats" from the kitty litter box.
Sam Stone, Sr.: Really shameful...
Clark: So we can offer you matte or glossy printing-
Dwight K. Schrute: Glistening brown morsels tumbling from every pouch in his trousers.
Clark: There's obviously a volume discount uh, if you-
Dwight K. Schrute: Following the cat around on his knees with his hands cupped beneath its tail, going "Please kitty, may I have some more?" You can't make this stuff up!
Clark: No, I think someone could make it up. Someone with very few friends.
The Office Quotes
‘Suit Warehouse’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Stone and Son Suit Warehouse recently lost their paper provider. They're a family owned business. [chuckles] Jim and I used to clean up at those. We'd go in pretending to be family, brothers. We did it at a family owned law firm, at a family owned construction company, and a family owned motorcycle store. Jim and Dwight Schrupert. I was the dynamic, likable winner that was doted upon by Mom. And Jim was the closeted foot fetishist pretending to belong. The client never knew any of that. But I knew.
Quote from Darryl
Darryl: Damn! Jim, you got a real Facebook energy going on here man. You Zuckerberged this place out!
Quote from Clark
Oscar: Hey, look who's back, Dwight Junior.
Kevin: Hey, so how was it? I mean... the sex with Jan.
Clark: A gentleman doesn't discuss such matters. Especially when the feelings of a lady are involved.
[aside to camera:]
Clark: Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week. I mean it was... like making love with a wild animal. But not like a cougar like you might think. It was, uh, like a swarm of bees. Bees that just find something wrong with every hotel room.