Toby Quote #88
Quote from Toby in Test the Store
Toby: Okay, look, in a real crisis situation, you're not gonna have to time to think, okay? So just remember, I-A-A-T-G. "It's all about the groin."
Andy: What if you're being attacked by a... smallish man who happens to not have a groin?
Toby: I don't think that's very common.
Andy: What if you're being attacked by a 4'11" man who is penis-less?
Oscar: Why are you fixated on this hypothetical trans-gendered attacker?
Andy: Why don't we start with the basics? Show us how to defend ourselves against a baby, and then like, a fifth grade girl, and then, you know, if we have time, on up to a scary man.
Toby: Well, the most common scenario is a larger man attacking a smaller female.
Andy: So in that scenario, what if the victim sucker-punches the attacker in the face? What can the attacker then do to better protect himself?
Toby: It's interesting that you're drawn to the point of view of the attacker. You would like "The Turn of the Table". Okay, the latest Chad Flenderman novel... [everyone groans] written from the point of view of his nemesis, Dr. Lucifer Wu.
The Office Quotes
‘Test the Store’ Quotes
Quote from Jim
Jim: I'm really sorry. Is there anything I can do, maybe pretend to be Chuck?
Dwight K. Schrute: You could have pretended to be Chuck. I begged you to pretend to be Chuck, but you chose to be yourself, and you can no longer be Chuck! Surrender the tripack. You know what you have to do.
Quote from Nellie
Nellie: Test launch day, people. Now, I would like to fill you in on a little secret about me to inspire you today. Now, I know you probably all think I'm this patrician goddess. But here's the truth. I was born in the little working-class town of Basildon, and until the age of 32, [in an Essex accent] I talked like this, which was bloody horrendous, innit? I came from dirt. No lower than... What's lower than dirt?
Dwight K. Schrute: Loam, magma, mantle, outer core, inner core.
Nellie: Yeah, thank you. Loam. Bloody loam, I came from. I hit rock bottom when I auditioned for the Spice Girls. [emotional] I didn't even get a callback.
Jim: Which Spice Girl?
Nellie: The black one. I never stood a chance.
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: Will someone please explain what's going on here? Since the interesting thing happened til now, so much time has passed, it's like my life is buffering.