Dwight K. Schrute Quote #726
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Chump
Mediator: Finally there's a provision here in the occurrence that the child is born an old man, a la Benjamin Button.
Angela: Same page. Go to the next one.
Dwight K. Schrute: Same page. Just keep moving.
Mediator: Despite the provision covering whether this is all part of the matrix-
Dwight K. Schrute: Which we can't know.
Mediator: This is essentially-
Dwight K. Schrute: Unless we're unplugged.
Mediator: -equivalent to a donor or surrogate contractor.
Dwight K. Schrute: And wake up in the future.
Mediator: Which is actually pretty common. So I have to tell you that this is a solid contract.
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
Mediator: Look, I can't enforce that anybody have a child with anyone else.
Angela: What?
Mediator: So essentially, this comes down to damages. Now, there is some precedence for the range of $30,000.
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't have $30,000 lying around. I have it buried very deeply, and I don't want to dig past a certain someone to get it.
The Office Quotes
‘The Chump’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: And if I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
All: No. No.
Jim: That's... not okay.
Michael Scott: Okay, alright.
Dwight K. Schrute: You were being really funny, and then you went too far.
Michael Scott: I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.
Quote from Meredith
Meredith: That is something I would never do.
Michael Scott: Well, I think we all know what you're capable of Meredith.
Meredith: Hey, I have never cheated on, been cheated on, or been used to cheat with.
[aside to camera:]
Meredith: I ask everyone in the room, "Are you in a relationship?"
Quote from Pam
Erin: We have Mr. Bean playing in the conference room and the Pink Panther movie in his office. With half hour shifts to watch it with him.
Pam: And we need bodies in both these rooms, people. So please sign up.
Erin: He's coming.
Pam: Oh, okay. Everyone, remember, when he get's like this, he will wallow if you empathize. Keep conversations light and if you get stuck, and you don't know what to do, make a random sound effect. Okay, farting noise, whatever. Okay.