Michael Scott Quote #1757

Quote from Michael Scott in Scott's Tots

Teacher: Let's put your hands together and give a warm welcome for the man of the hour, Mr. Michael Scott. [loud applause]
Michael Scott: All right. Wow. Um, I am never going to forget today. Not a chance. I don't think I could ever give back to you what you have given me today. Who here has done something stupid in their lives? Like skipped out on study hall or mix up the difference between "A" gym and "B" gym, that sort of thing? Show of hands, anybody? Yes, a bunch of you, okay. Well, me too, I've done something stupid which I would like to share. Um. [period bell rings] Should we go?
Teacher: Oh, no. We're okay. It's a double period
Michael Scott: Ah. All right. I came here today because I promised you tuition and tuition is very valuable. But you know what's invaluable is intuition. You know what that is? That is the ability to know when something is about to happen. Does anybody out there have intuition? Know what's gonna happen next? Nobody? Okay, you're going to make me say it. All right, I am so proud of all of you. Derrick, and Lefervre, and Ben, and Ayana, and Mikela, and Nikki and Jason, and... I'm sorry, okay, sorry spacing, your name?
Zion: I'm Zion, I'm Mikela's younger brother.
Michael Scott: Well, Zion, I am not going to be paying for your college tuition. Which brings me to my main point and that is that I will not be able to pay for anybody's tuition. I'm so, so sorry.

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 ‘Scott's Tots’ Quotes

Quote from Michael Scott

Michael Scott: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Mikela: You lied to us.
Michael Scott: I lied to myself too. I'm not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn't even close. And then I thought maybe by the time I was 40. But by 40, I had less money than when I was 30. Maybe by my 50s, I don't know. I wanted to pay for your education. I really did. It was my dream. Some people have evil dreams, some people have selfish dreams or wet dreams. My dream was in the right place.

Quote from Stanley

Pam: What's "Scott's Tots?"
Stanley: [breaking out laughing] Has it really been ten years?
[aside to camera:]
Stanley: [holding up a newspaper] "Local businessman pledges college tuition to third graders" [laughs]

Quote from Andy

Andy: Dr. Tuna, MD, I have some terrible news.
Jim: Wait, are you the patient or the doctor?
Andy: The entire office has come down with a pernicious case of the Mondays.
Jim: Wow. What do you put our chances at?
Andy: 0%, unless we perform an immediate emergency morale transplant, stat!
Jim: Hmm, sounds risky.
Andy: Don't worry. There is a surefire cure. Employee of the Month. Every awesome place I've worked has had one.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG, my summer at Enron.