Dwight K. Schrute Quote #623
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Lover
Jim: [walks into his office and sees the mallard on his desk] Dwight, you brought the mallard back.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, I had to, I mean... Kelly was not even-
Jim: [speaking into the mallard and looking a Dwight] Hi buddy.
Dwight K. Schrute: [walks into Jim's office and takes out ear piece] I'm sorry.
Jim: A wooden duck?
Dwight K. Schrute: Mallard. I put it in your office in order to surveil you. I was jealous that you got the promotion over me.
Jim: Okay, just to be clear, you're terrible at this. You are not equipped for espionage.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, I'm equipped. I can-
Jim: Silence.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't tell Michael.
Jim: I won't. But, you will wash and buff our car.
Dwight K. Schrute: Punishment fits the crime, I accept.
The Office Quotes
‘The Lover’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. Now I can observe Jim, trap Jim, and destroy Jim, just like in the Bavarian fairy tale. Only this time, the mallard skins the toad alive. And of course in this version you lose the whole veiled critique of the Kaiser thing.
Quote from Jim
Jim: Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift, and I found a recording device in it. Yes. So, I think if I play it just right I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Michael Scott: Who wants to help the world one step at a time? All right, good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Volunteerism is important. Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter and they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself.