Michael Scott Quote #1358
Quote from Michael Scott in Stress Relief
Michael Scott: Okay, everybody, I've figured it out. The reason that you are all so stressed around me is that you are too intimidated to tell me what you really think. You are keeping these feelings inside, and that is what's causing stress. So, what is the solution? Solution is honesty, laughter, and comedy. In short-
Kelly: A vacation.
Michael Scott: Eh- What? No. No, I am talking about a roast! Of Michael Scott! Oh c'mon! Who here has the Comedy Central Roast channel? You've seen it right? Everybody gets together, and you start hurling insults at the one guy, and everybody's laughing, and everybody's hugging each other.
Oscar: Michael are you serious? You really want us to roast you?
Michael Scott: [Mexican accent] Si senor.
Oscar: That's offensive.
Michael Scott: It's not! It's not offensive during a roast. Anything goes. I want you guys to really get cracking on this. I want you to take me down. Don't hold back. I want you to really make fun of anything about me. It could be my race, could be the fact that I'm so fit, or I'm a womanizer... fair game. Whatever. I don't want to write your stuff for you, but I just want it to be good.
The Office Quotes
‘Stress Relief’ Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, come on. It's not real, Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael Scott: No, no, no! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!
Quote from Michael Scott
CPR Trainer: All right, well, lets get back to it. 'Cause you're losing him. Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute .
Michael Scott: Okay, that's uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?
Jim: How's that gonna help you?
Michael Scott: Well, I will divide and then count to it.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He's either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say, "Michael, take two steps back, and stare at the icicle from the side." And he's like, "No, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them."