Michael Scott Quote #1287
Michael Scott: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five?
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you $10 to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only cost you $9.
Michael Scott: Oh!
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what?
Michael Scott: Next summer I'll be six.
Oscar: And you ask them for money, they're gonna give you $9, 'cause that's what they think it costs to run the stand. So what you want to do is spend that dollar on something now, so that your parents think that it costs $10 to run the stand.
Michael Scott: So the dollar's a surplus. This is a surplus.
Oscar: We have to spend that $4,300 by the end of the day or it'll be deducted from next year's budget.
Michael Scott: [whistling]
Oscar: We should spend this money on a new copier which we desperately need.
Michael Scott: Okay, break it down in terms of- Okay, I think I'm getting you.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: What did we learn this week? Well, one, thanks to me, my team is much, much faster at coming to decisions than I thought they would be. Number two, never buy a fur coat with a credit card until you absolutely have the money to pay for it. And three, you should know that some people think it's cool to throw buckets of fake blood on you as you are walking out of Burlington Coat Factory.
Quote from Andy
Andy: We're getting married at Schrute farms, no matter what. I have looked at 12 venues. I have lost 8 deposits. And I have seen Angela naked zero times. I am not losing another deposit.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Andy: Dwight, I'm a little concerned about some of these directions to Schrute farms.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, do tell.
Andy: I mean, like, "156 paces from the light red mailbox, make a left."
Dwight K. Schrute: Uh-huh.
Andy: "Walk until you hear the bee hive."
Dwight K. Schrute: How could it be more clear?
Angela: I think Andy makes an excellent point. But my biggest concern is that there's only one bathroom.
Dwight K. Schrute: We'll dig a trench. As long as it's downhill from the well, we should be fine.
Angela: Nana Mimi cannot squat over some trench.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, we're gonna put out stumps. Come on.