Dwight K. Schrute: [sits down] Oh, ugh. [stands up and looks at chair] What is this, a meatball? Really? [Stanley laughs]
[aside to camera:]
Jim: It's always more fun to mess with Dwight with an audience. That was usually Pam so now that she's out I had to find someone else. Turns out that Stanley is quite the comedy fan. But not everything makes him laugh. He has very specific tastes. Through a painstaking process of trial and error, I've found out what he likes. And it's really weird.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim, come on! That's so juvenile! What the- [opens drawer full of meatballs]
Stanley: You've been meatballed! [laughs]
Dwight K. Schrute: Ugh.
Stanley: Are you ready for some meatball?
Dwight K. Schrute: Aw, man. [Stanley laughs] This is not very clever, Jim.
Jim: I know.
Stanley: Look for your stapler!
Dwight K. Schrute: [Dwight finds his stapler enclosed in a giant meatball] Really Jim? Really? Very funny.

Andy: Um, I'm getting reports of a serious outbreak of the grumpies in here.
Robert: A beautiful monster cost me my forties and my dream home. I think I'm entitled to the occasional bad day.

Erin: I guess Andy isn't totally over his current girlfriend. But, if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again. Just not with Robert. He told me he was a ride I wouldn't survive, and I believe him.

Meredith: You guys got to try this pool. No top scum, no band-aids. This thing is choice.

Robert: Gentlemen, bear witness. While I've been mourning the nights that never were, one of them has been unfolding here before me. This is no get-together. This is a party. [Robert strips completely naked, then jumps in the pool. Gabe and Ryan follow]
All: Yes! Woohoo! Bravo!
Jim: And there's my talking point.

Erin: Funny how we can be surrounded by people and still feel so lonely. Hi.
Andy: Hi.
Erin: How is everything? How's your car?
Andy: It's great. You know... Reliable. Great mileage.
Erin: Is that so? How about this weekend we take that sucker to a duck pond or something? Maybe get caught in the rain?
Andy: Well, I can't. I'm going skiing with Jessica. You know, a couple of dopes on the slopes.
Erin: Oh, like a goodbye trip.
Andy: No. What?

Dwight K. Schrute: You regret attacking me now, hick? Huh?
Erin: Stop it. Dwight, I was flirting with you. I was trying to use you to make Andy jealous.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm not going to help you. Why would you choose me? Because I'm mighty? Because I'm the manliest man in the office? I'll do it. [he picks her up]
Erin: [giggles] Oh, Dwight!

Erin: Andy's confused. That's not what I was hoping for, but it's not so bad either. I can live with confused. I get confused. I totally get confused.

Robert: Yes, that's it. Push yourselves, boys. It's not a party if you don't do something that scares you. I need a breather. Oh. Oh. You two keep going.
Ryan: Hey, he's asleep. We can just leave.
Gabe: So leave.

Andy: My parents met Jessica and they completely flipped for her so they gave me this old family ring to use on her. I know, whoa! Pump the brakes, Bernard, too early! I get it. I just- You know, I'm just carrying it around, seeing how it feels. I haven't proposed to anyone in years... Mom took the main diamond out, she thought that had more of a my little brother kind of vibe to it, but...