Phyllis: We found some old decorations in the warehouse. Oscar ran to the store for some food and drink, and I dipped into my stash of eggnog. I guess they needed me after all. It's like in it's a wonderful life when Jimmy Stewart realizes that all those people at the building and loan were just jerks, and he was the real hero.

Phyllis: What's the least we can do to make this okay?

Phyllis: I guess we could give them some of our new commissions.
Stanley: That is a dangerous precedent.
Jim: Pam texted back saying we could give them all iPods.
Phyllis: Oh, if they don't have an iPod by now they really don't want one.

Phyllis: Yes. I put Michael in my wedding. It was the only way I could think to get six weeks off for my honeymoon. No one else has ever gotten six weeks before.

Michael Scott: Well, apparently, he and his wife were out dancing at a club for young people.
Phyllis: Teri's out of town, Michael.
Michael Scott: Who?
Phyllis: Teri, Stanley's wife. She's at an interior decorating expo in Philly. Stanley hates crowds, kids, and music. I think you should check your facts.

Michael Scott: Stanley Hudson is a grump. Everybody knows that. But did you know, that Stanley Hudson is also the face of a debilitating disease known as diabetes? The Diabetes Award goes to Stanley Hudson! Come on up here, you sick bastard.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: I have diabetes too. You don't see me making a big deal about it.

Phyllis: I missed you.
Stanley: I missed you too.
[aside to camera:]
Phyllis: Lots of people think that Stanley Hudson's a mean old grump. [laughs, then sobbing] But would a grump make this? It's me. It's me.

Meredith: What about office romance?
Todd: Office relationships are never a good idea. So let's just try to avoid them, but if you already have one, you should disclose it to HR.
Phyllis: All relationships? Even a one-night stand?

Jim: The police are on it. They say they've already had three calls.
Pam: Can you tell us what happened?
Phyllis: I was walking to the building and this man asked me for directions. And he was holding a map. And when I walked over, he had it out on the map.
Angela: Phyllis. You're a married woman.

Phyllis: Angela is worse than usual lately, and we have a party to throw. So I googled "how to deal with difficult people," and I got all of this. So we're gonna try out some new things today.
[cut to:]
Phyllis: So how do you feel about the fact that the banner says "lunch"?
Angela: I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry at you for doing something stupid. Angry at me for believing you could do something not stupid.
Phyllis: I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be awful.
Angela: It is awful. You've made this day awful.