Pete: One of my jobs is to input customer complaints into the computer. And when they're in, I fill out one of these cards. But the information's already on the computer, so why am I filling out the card? I asked Andy, and he told me to "chillax," and then went away on a big, long boat ride. So here we are. Don't give me a pointless office chore, because I will build a little paper house. Fight the power.

Andy: Darryl, Clark, Toby, Kevin, Plop, take a knee. Alright, you guys are gonna think I'm psycho again. Uh, couldn't shake this feeling that Erin's dating someone so I looked at her phone.
Darryl: Man, you can't do that stuff. You'll only find pain. When my ex-wife got into my e-mail account, she was devastated.
Andy: Too late. I found out she's been texting a guy named Pete. Does anybody know a Pete?
Kevin: Pete...
Clark: Hmm.
Kevin: Pete what?
[aside to camera:]
Pete: It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me Plop for so long, he forgot my real name. Which is Pete.

Pete: No, Clark's not my friend. He is the douche that sits next to me at the office. My friends are Scott, Glenn, and Rob. But, you don't know them.

Pete: I'm just hoping German terrorists don't take over this Christmas party. Make me go all John McClane on their asses.
Erin: Wait, German terrorists? That's oddly specific. And I think- I think you mean John McCain.
Pete: "Die Hard" reference.
Erin: I haven't seen it.
Pete: You haven't seen "Die Hard"?

Pete: Erin says she's gonna break up with Andy, but I'm not sure. He's coming back tomorrow and surprise, today, she wants to do whatever I'd like. You know, when I was a kid, we had a dog who got real sick and we had to "send him to a farm". And on his last day, we did everything he loved.
[cut to:]
Erin: Wanna play catch in the parking lot?
Pete: Sure.

Pete: Hey, hey, hey, it's just a mistake. Just a mistake. That's what this tower's all about, mistakes. Okay, if you're afraid of screwing up, the tower's not for you. Show of hands. Who here has never had a complaint? That's right. Nobody. See that? Nobody. Okay? Let's get back to work, huh? Come on, you in?
Kevin: Yeah.
Pete: There we go. All right, let's do it.

Jim: Members of the office, hear ye.
Dwight K. Schrute: That means ye, Plop!
Pete: Plop? Still?
Dwight K. Schrute: We owe Andy that much. Am I right people?
Pete: Fine.

Angela: Why do you want this cat?
Pete: I don't want it, really.
Angela: How would you support the cat? What are your ambitions?
Pete: I want to start my own business. I want to be a millionaire. Lots of things. Travel, make the world a better place, earn an MBA at night.
Angela: Have you taken any concrete steps?
Pete: Well, I'm still just fitting in here, you know? Getting used to the new job. But, definitely on the agenda. But that is a good idea, Angela. I should make a list.

Jim: You a sports fan?
Pete: Sure, boxing, tennis.
Jim: Oh. Any team sports?
Pete: NASCAR. The Amazing Race.
Jim: Phillies fan, though, right?
Pete: You mean horses?
Jim: No, like baseball. A baseball team.
Pete: Ah, I like the Red Sox. I'm from Vermont.
Jim: Okay. Good talk.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: I have nothing in common with Plop.

Clark: [on the phone] Duncan, listen, I would love to help you out but where am I gonna find somebody that's pretty, smart and well-informed? Huh? Hold on, hold on. [covers phone's receiver] Erin, do you know anybody that might want... [has realization] Oh my gosh. You love the news, right?
Erin: Well, it depends. I mean, sometimes I find out things that are really sad.
Clark: Well, I got a buddy that's a big time local news producer and I can't tell you his name, but it'd blow your mind.
Pete: Uh, is it Duncan?