Jim: [on the phone] Hey, Dan, this is Jim. It is about 11:15 and I wanted to know what you were up to tomorrow, which is the 15th, and that is a...
Dwight K. Schrute: Saturday.
Jim: Saturday. So just let me know what you're doing tomorrow, Saturday, for lunch. Okay, talk to you soon.

Pam: Oh, my God, did you see The Apprentice last night?
Jim: Of course. It's on every Thursday night, so how could I miss it?
Pam: Can you believe who Trump fired?
Jim: No, that was unbelievable.
Dwight K. Schrute: Who? Who was it? Who did he fire?
Pam: You didn't see it?
Dwight K. Schrute: No. I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! Never go out on a Thursday night. What the hell was I thinking?

Pam: [on intercom] Michael, it's time for the suggestion box meeting.
Michael Scott: I'm kind of in the middle of something. I wish you wouldn't interrupt.
Pam: You told me to buzz you about the suggestion box meeting when Jan was here.
Michael Scott: I did not, not, not use those words.

Michael Scott: Why are we here? Because I value your opinions. Now, I know a lot of you don't think that I read your suggestions, but I do. I just sift through them every week and I really look and scrutinize to see what you guys are writing. So, let's just read some of these suckers, okay? All right. Number one. "What should we do to prepare for Y2K?"
Dwight K. Schrute: "What should we do to prepare for Y2K?"
Kelly: I thought you read these every week?
Michael Scott: Well, obviously, this one got stuck in the box. That happens occasionally.
Dwight K. Schrute: It happens occasionally.

Michael Scott: What do we have here? We have somebody's piece of gum. Somebody put a piece of gum in there. This is not a garbage can. This is the future of our company. This is not a place for gum, okay? I don't want to have to read these tomorrow.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah. Who wants to come in on a Saturday?

Dwight K. Schrute: You're gonna give me this raise. I deserve this raise. Yes! Yes! Yes! The least you can do is keep my salary consistent with inflation. Yes! Why are you gonna give me this raise? Why? Because I'm awesome! I am awesome!

Pam: Do you think Michael and Jan actually-
Jim: I don't really wanna picture it. But thank you, Pam.
Pam: How do you come back from that?
Jim: You don't, I don't think, come all the way back, you know. Especially working together.
Pam: No, I mean doing that with Michael. How do you come back from that as a human being?
Jim: Yeah. No. I don't think you can.

Michael Scott: Hey, it's 12:20. Where the hell's Dwight?
Jim: No idea.
Michael Scott: "Never missed a day," my ass.
[outside:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm here! I'm here! I'm here. It's okay!

Jan: So, are you still in the middle of the performance reviews then?
Michael Scott: No, no, no. I finished all that. I'm very fast. I'm not too fast. Not like, "Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am." But I do say, "Thank you, ma'am." But I'm not like, "Wham bam." Not that there's anything wrong with "wham bam," if it's consensual. We're talking about office stuff.

Michael Scott: My boss is coming in today. The lovely Jan Levinson-Gould. Well, no Gould, the Gould has been- Divorce. The awkward part is that this is the first time we'll be seeing each other since, well... It was really nothing. We just sort of got caught up in the moment. The vulnerable divorcee gives herself to the "understanding with rugged good looks" office manager. Just, she didn't want it to continue for some reason. We both didn't. I didn't want it. We both didn't want it to continue. It was not professional. When people say something's mutual, it never is. But this was mutual.