Pam: [answering the phone] Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. Hi, David. [Michael shakes his head at Pam] No, I'm sorry. He's not back from the civil rights rally. I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial. [aside to camera:]
Pam: When Michael's skirting a phone call, he gave me a list of places to say he is. "Stopping a fight in the parking lot." "An Obama fashion show." Whatever that is. Or "Trapped in an oil painting." I'm gonna save that one.

Mark: Hi, I'm Mark.
Pam: Hi, Pam, hello.
Mark: I'm the horrible boss around here, but please don't hire Jamie Foxx to kill me. D'Jango! I don't agree with the use of the "N" word in that movie. It's, it's too soon.
Pam: I'm Pam Halpert.
Mark: Oh, hi. They call me Marky Mark around here, because here at Simon Realty, we are one funky bunch! Come on you guys, raise the roof when I say that! I- What are you all temps again today? Let's go, Gangnam style. [laughs] He's heard Gangnam style, he knows it. Right? That's cause he's American. This is Carl. Uh, he's from here. He's from our neck of the woods. But Gangnam style is great, isn't it?
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Oh my god. He's Michael Scott!

Pam: I didn't watch the whole documentary. After a few episodes, it was too painful. I kept wanting to scream at Pam. It took me so long to do so many important things. It's just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been. Jim was 5 feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. It'd be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I'm a tragic person. I'm really happy now. But it would just... just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself "Be strong, trust yourself, love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast, because life just isn't that long."

Pam: [on the phone] Michael, Carole Stills for you.
Michael Scott: Who?
Pam: Carole Stills.
Michael Scott: Do I know a Carole Stills?
Pam: Your realtor.
Michael Scott: Oh, yeah, put her through. Hey, Carole, how goes the real estate biz? Is it real good?
Pam: It's still me.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Sometimes I don't put Michael through until he's already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt.

Pam: Hey. I need to give you your Christmas gift now, because- Well, I'll just tell you.
Jim: What?
Pam: For the past few months, I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA.
Jim: Are you serious?
Pam: They're considering him for a top-secret mission. There's his application. Oh, and this is where I made him list every secret he promised he'd never, ever tell. "Last year, my boss, Michael Scott, took a day off because he said he had pneumonia, but, really, he was leaving early to go to magic camp." Wow. So, here's the gift. You get to decide what his top-secret mission is. Sorry I didn't wrap it.

Gabe: Comply with all applicable laws, regulations, policies and contracts governing our business. Be honest, fair-
Pam: [whispers to Jim] I'm gonna do it.
Gabe: And trustworthy in all your business activities and relationships. Treat one another-
Pam: Oh! I'm going into labor! Oh my goodness!
Jim: Oh okay, she's going into labor. Make way, everybody!
[aside to camera:]
Pam: I know it's wrong to fake going into labor just to get out of things, but sometimes it's necessary.

Pam: I was hoping for a righteous mob, and I ended up with Dwight and Nellie. But, they both have a mob mentality. And, I'm pretty sure Dwight has a pitchfork in his car.
Dwight K. Schrute: [enters quickly] You need my pitchfork?

Pam: The thing about pregnancy is people treat you differently. Like you're a kid almost. They lose all sense of boundaries. They start acting weird, telling you things that clearly aren't true. I know it sounds nuts, but I think Dwight is the only one who's telling me the truth.

Pam: Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture. Intel has told us there were at least seven.
Creed: Okay. I already see one, gimme. Okay.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: They're the same picture.

Michael Scott: Okay, I'm going to toss the ball to Pam.
Pam: Let's see. I had an aunt that I was really close to. She was this amazing female boxer. Anyway, she was injured in a fight, and she was paralyzed. So you can imagine how upset I was when I found out that she asked her manager to remove her breathing tube so she could die.
Michael Scott: Wow. If you want to cry, that's okay.