‘Mrs. California’
Season 8, Episode 9 - Aired December 1, 2011
Andy is put in a difficult position when Robert brings his wife, Susan, in for a job interview, while urging Andy not to hire her. Meanwhile, Dwight sets up a gym in the building.
Quote from Andy
Susan: So what happens next?
Andy: We get you over to HR and then we get you set up with accounting. [phone rings] Hang on. [answers phone] Hello?
Robert: [on the phone] Say "Hello, grandma."
Andy: Hi gam-gam.
Robert: Hold one finger up to Susan. You'll just be a second. You numskull. You were given a very simple task. I could not have been more clear with you. Now say, "Are you taking your medicine?"
Andy: Are you taking your med-meds?
Robert: Why can you not say exactly what I tell you? Undo this. Undo it. [Andy and Robert both hang up]
Susan: You didn't say goodbye to your grandma.
Andy: We promised we'd never say goodbye.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Kelly?
Kelly: I have these new sneakers which are basically like a gym for your feet.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: That's okay. I know how to build a business. You gotta get the black people to do it to get the white people to do it. Then you gotta get the black people to stop doing it. One step at a time.
Quote from Kevin
Susan: Um, do you think it would be possible to move to that desk over there? Because this seems a bit cramped and I don't have a computer.
Erin: Well, that's a sales desk.
Kevin: Yeah. You need to be over here with us accountants. Just sit here and be quiet. And if you have a question, just raise your hand. But I'm gonna save you some time, sweetie, and give you the answer now. I. Don't. Know.
Quote from Jim
Jim: No, I don't think we should be trying to make this place seem unpleasant. I think we should let this place just crush her spirit by itself. I mean, it knows what it's doing.
Quote from Darryl
Dwight K. Schrute: What do you think you're doing?
Darryl: Getting my sweat on.
Dwight K. Schrute: I build you this temple to the human body, and you're lifting what, five pounds?
Darryl: I just did, like, 35 minutes on the treadmill.
Dwight K. Schrute: I was watching you. You want to know how long it really was?
Darryl: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Eight minutes!
Darryl: Dude, I'm gonna be here all week, right? Five days a week, I figure I'll start slow.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings? I want you to bring that same buffalo wing passion to this gym! I'm gonna make you look like Lebron James!
Darryl: It's Lejon Brames.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's what I said.
Darryl: You know, get it right.
Quote from Creed
[As Jim climbs up onto the roof, Creed is flying a drone]
Jim: [on the roof] Creed, I was never here, all right?
Creed: Okay. What about your friend?
Jim: Oh boy.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: You're nothing! You're so weak, you call yourself a man? Huh?
Darryl: This doesn't help me. I don't respond to that kind of strategy.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, fine. Finish your set on your own and never come back to my gym again!
Darryl: Dwight, come back and spot me.
Dwight K. Schrute: All right, I'll help you. But first, you gotta tell me what your goal is. What do you want?
Darryl: To push this bar up.
Dwight K. Schrute: No! Because if that was the case, the bar would be up by now. What is your goal?
Darryl: Help me!
Dwight K. Schrute: What do you want!?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight K. Schrute: Val Kilmer? I don't buy it. That doesn't make any sense. Wow! I figured out your goal. I am going to make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
Quote from Jim
[Jim notices a stand poking out of Dwight's pants]
Dwight K. Schrute: What are you doing? Give that back. Come on!
Jim: Prank! [throws money from Dwight's wallet on the floor]
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, that's real creative.
Jim: You know what, it's not my best. Because you could just easily bend over and pick it up right?
Dwight K. Schrute: I could, but I just don't feel like it loser.
Jim: Because you're sitting?
Dwight K. Schrute: Standing.
Jim: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't!
Jim: Because you're sitting?
Dwight K. Schrute: Standing.
Jim: You know I have to do this.
Dwight K. Schrute: I know. [knocks Dwight over]
Quote from Robert
Robert: [banging on the window] In four seconds, my wife is going to be coming through that door. I told her she can work here. Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen.
Quote from Robert
Susan: I was thinking accounting might be a good fit because I really clicked with Oscar and I do have some experience with bookkeeping.
Andy: But, we already have a surplus of accountants as it is.
Susan: I would work in customer service. HR even.
Andy: Those are fully staffed as well.
Robert: Are you telling me that there's no one in this entire office that could use an extra pair of hands?
Andy: [laughing nervously] Yes.
Robert: I am the CEO and I am telling an employee of mine what to do.
Andy: Let me beat around the bush for a second. Our chairman of the board has some very strong feelings about-
Susan: Robert, this is very uncomfortable. Obviously, there's no place for me here. So thank you for trying. Why don't we just let it go.
Robert: No. Absolutely not. Andrew, there must be something you can do. There must be. Think.
Andy: Well, there are lots of considerations.
Robert: I would be eternally grateful. It's not a bad thing to have the CEO owe you one.
Andy: [nervous chuckle] Alright. Well then, welcome aboard.