Clark: So Pete was a librarian?
Alice: He worked as a librarian freshman year.
Clark: Was he like the sexy librarian?
Pete: Okay.

Alice: Hi. [laughs] Good. I'd love to discuss strategy with you if you have a marketing p-
Andy: Wow this sure is intense. Having to share a work space with someone you used to get it on with?
Pete: Andy, that is really inappropriate.
Andy: Awkward.
Pete: It is awkward. This is a really uncomfortable situation that you've contrived.
Andy: [high pitched] Really uncomfortable situation.
Pete: Yeah.
Andy: It's alright, Pete, you can handle it. I mean we all just gotta "move on". Ain't that right, Professor Lecture-Much? Uh, question. How's that medicine taste? Your own flavored? Is it just me or have these tables turned? Hmm. Hmm. [leaves]

Andy: And Alice, uh, I understand you once dumped Pete, ouch.
Pete: Dude, it was an amicable break up Andy.
Alice: Okay, while we're rewriting history, you never had a drinking problem.
Pete: It was college. That is what you do.
Alice: I think you're also supposed to go to classes, so there's that.

Alice: He is not a very sophisticated man, I mean he can't even use chopsticks, so. Do I need to say anything else?
Gabe: Erin, I've been to Japan. I know how to use chopsticks so well. Come back. One night.
Erin: Gabe, I don't-
Gabe: Give me one night with you...
Erin: What is that supposed to mean?
Gabe: I have shaved everything...
Erin: I don't want you to shave everything.
Alice: I wasted two years of my life on you, you realize that right?!
Pete: I just want to be real clear that chopsticks is not the measure of a man.

Pam: It's just even if it was a great boss and a great job, I just- I don't know. I don't know if I want- Um, I don't know if I want this.
Jim: Huh. This is a little out of left field.
Pam: Is it? I just- I liked our life in Scranton.
Jim: And I have started a business in Philadelphia.

Advertisement on Oscar's computer: Coming this May: The Office: An American Workplace. Ten years in the making, a look at the lives and loves of an average American small business office.

Dwight K. Schrute: You know what? Before you put the new clothes on, Angela's gonna get you cleaned up a little bit.
Angela: Yes. How would you like a nice warm bath?
Shirley: How would you like a mean cold slap? [slaps Angela]
Angela: Ow!
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, Aunt Shirley, dear. Uh, can I get you a nice crisp liter of schnapps?

Shirley: I could do that.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay.
Angela: No. No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, trust me.
Angela: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: It keeps her docile. Go to the kitchen, get the largest receptacle you can find.
Shirley: Step on it!