Michael Scott: I owe you an apology.
Pam: You finished the movie.
Michael Scott: Yeah, it was awesome. Big surprise ending. Won't ruin it for you.
Pam: No, go ahead.
Michael Scott: Meryl Streep is the bad guy. You never see it coming. Anyway, if I was mean in any way to you, I'm sorry. I just want what's best for you, Minushka.

Pam: "Macushla." He's watching Million Dollar Baby. He's gonna try to kill me.

Dwight K. Schrute: [answering phone] Dunder Mifflin, Dwight Schrute. Please hold. Schrute farms. Guttentag. How can help you? Yes, we have availability on those nights. How many in your party? Oh, no, I'm sorry. No King beds. No Queen either. Well, we make our own mattresses that don't conform to the traditional sizes. Closest would be twin. Thank you so much for calling. Call back again. Auf wiedersehen.

Jim: Hey, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: None of your business, Jim.
Jim: You running a bed and breakfast?
Dwight K. Schrute: It is not a B & B.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Agro-tourism is a lot more than a bed and breakfast. It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, giving them breakfast.

Dwight K. Schrute: My girlfriend and I broke up recently and I must say I am relieved. Gives me a chance to sow my wild oats. In the Schrute family, we have a tradition where when the male has sex with another woman he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his doorstep by his parents. You can use those oats to make oatmeal, bread... Whatever you want. I don't care, they're your oats.

Jim: The Borscht Hotel.
Pam: The Embassy Beets. Radish Inn.
Jim: How are you doing this?
Pam: I don't know.

Ryan: How long until you actually get this presentation ready?
Michael Scott: Why don't you do the presentation. I mean, you know how to do it.
Ryan: What I really want? Honestly, Michael, is for you to know it so that you can communicate to the people here, to your clients, to whomever.
Michael Scott: Huh, okay.
Ryan: What?
Michael Scott: It's whoever, not whomever.
Ryan: No, it's whomever.
Michael Scott: No, whomever is never actually right.
Jim: Well, sometimes it's right.
Creed: Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students.

Pam: It's whom when it's the object of the sentence, and who when it's the subject.
Phyllis: That sounds right.
Michael Scott: Well it sounds right, but is it?
Stanley: How did Ryan use it? As an object?
Ryan: As an object.
Kelly: Ryan used me as an object.

Michael Scott: I was never in this for the money. But it turns out that the money was an absolute necessity for me. I tried to live the dream. I tried to have a job, a girlfriend, another job, and I failed. But the good thing about the American Dream is that you can just go to sleep. And try it all again the next night.

Pam: I don't know if I really see you two together.
Andy: Really? Well, maybe you should look in the smart part of your brain.
Pam: She's very religious.
Andy: Okay, well I come from a line of W.A.S.P.s so long it leads back to Moses.